Small things, Great Love and a Leather Jacket.

My favourite, favouritest, bestest item of clothing (probably) is my leather jacket. I bought it last Christmas in the Topshop sale whilst I was home in London (before I became a vegetarian, I swear!). I've always wanted a leather jacket and it's beautiful. It was pretty expensive but it was half price in the sales and I always say it was my best buy ever, it fits me perfectly and I wear it constantly. So, even though it was expensive, it was worth it and it'll last me forever so it's okay. Right? Right.

A while back, me and my sister (who was visiting) went to the supermarket closest to my house so we could pick up some stuff to cook for dinner. We were walking in and this woman approached us, whilst a man, who was obviously with her hung back and stood round the corner. It was pretty cold but the woman just had a vest top on. She didn't look well, she was super thin and pale and shaky and well, I work with drug users and we're taught to recognise the signs of someone using drugs. So, she approached us and said that she was really cold and that she was sleeping rough that night and asked if one of us would give her our coat.

So, you guessed it, I was wearing my leather jacket.

I said no. I took off my leather jacket and I gave her the primark checked shirt I was wearing underneath it (I had a t-shirt underneath it, don't worry!). My sister and I went inside the supermarket and bought her some food and I gave her the card of a drop-in centre that could help her find a hostel and get some help. I explained that I worked for One25ltd and that she could go there to get help. I was nice, I helped her, I did enough, right? But the whole time I was talking to her, this line kept going round and round my head, "I was naked and you did not clothe me". From Matthew 25, the parable where Jesus separates the "goats" from the "sheep" and the way he separates them was by how they treated strangers. He says that when you are doing something for the stranger, you're doing it for Him- "For I was hungry and you gave me something to eat, I was thirsty and you gave me something to drink, I was a stranger and you invited me in. I needed clothes and you clothed me, I was sick and you looked after me, I was in prison and you came to visit me."

What stopped me from giving her the leather jacket? Greed, I guess. And loving things more than I love people. I rationalised it- it's too big for her, she'll sell it for drugs money, she'll wear it for one night when she's cold and then she'll dump it somewhere, it's worthless to her but important to me and it's MY FAVOURITE JACKET and she won't know that it cost me more than I usually spend on clothes and that I love it. And it's okay for me to have good things, God isn't a God of poverty etc.

But I knew what I should have done. Jesus was standing in front of me, in the form of a cold, tired out girl with her pimp waiting for her round the corner, and I said "no".

I should have given her the jacket. I should have told her that it's my favourite thing in the world but that I know she's super precious to God and that he wants her to have the best and that she should be warm tonight. I should have given her it, even if she'd only chuck it away, because that's what we're asked to do- give extravagantly and carelessly and generously, like God does with us. Second chances and third chances and gifts that we don't need and don't deserve.

This is a small thing but it's a big thing too. It was months ago but I can't stop thinking about it. Every time I put the bloody thing on, I think about it. I know that I am forgiven for doing this but I also know that it's my mindset every day, in many ways, not just that days standing outside of that supermarket. Almost every day I choose not to recognise Jesus when He's standing in front of me.

I should have given her the jacket.